Letting The Light In
by SylvaDragon
Summary: Albus Dumbledore was a wise mentor to Harry, one with his own unique brand of eccentric wisdom. One day he tries to share this wisdom with Harry, but Harry doesn't understand straight away. Sometimes understanding takes time. A short story, that spans two seperate times in Harry's life. Grandfatherly Albus.


Letting The Light In

_Part one - Harry's First Year at Hogwarts_

Harry trudged sleepily along the passages of the castle, rubbing blearily at his eyes, and grumbling to himself about how much he hated early morning Quidditch practise. The sun had barely risen, it wasn't even 6.00am yet, and yet Oliver Wood, who seemed to have gone completely bonkers in the run up to their match with Slytherin, had insisted on an even earlier than normal early morning Quidditch practise.

Right now all Harry wanted to do was go back to bed, snuggle under his warm covers and go back to sleep, not trudge along ice cold corridors. Still grumbling, he rounded a corner then stopped dead in his tracks, gawping in astonishment and confusion at the sight that met his eyes.

There before his disbelieving gaze stood the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, eccentrically dressed in a tartan dressing gown in hideous shades of green and red, giant bright pink bunny slippers and purple nightcap with a golden star on top. Nothing unusual in that really, Dumbledore was renowned for his excessively eccentric taste in clothing. What was unusual, even by the Headmaster's standards, was his behaviour.

Dumbledore was standing in front of one of the arched windows, his arms spread widely apart, a blissful smile on his face. As Harry watched, Dumbledore stepped away from the window, turned to the next window, and stepping lightly up to it, moved his arms in a strange gesture, almost as though he were opening a pair of imaginery curtains. Then, just like before, he stood before the window with his arms spread wide apart, smiling brightly.

Harry blinked in confusion, rubbed his eyes, then opened and closed them several times. Perhaps he was really back in his bed, and this was all some crazy dream. But Dumbledore was still there, clear as day in front of him, except now he was spinning round in mad circles, his arms flung far apart, almost as though he would embrace the entire world.

Harry gaped at Dumbledore disbelievingly, his mouth hanging slightly open, teachers spinning madly round in merry circles in front of his eyes was something he had no idea how to cope with. Dumbledore suddenly seemed to notice Harry standing there, for he stopped spinning, took an unsteady step forwards, and beamed at Harry brightly. "Ah good morning, my boy. What a glorious day it is!"

"Professor ..." Harry stuttered uncertainly, as he noticed Dumbledore stagger once again, was it possible that the headmaster had been drinking he wondered. Then felt his cheeks flushing under the sparkling all seeing gaze of Dumbledore, somehow he had an uncomfortable feeling that the Headmaster knew exactly what he had been thinking.

Much to Harry's relief, Dumbledore didn't seem to mind at all. He simply chuckled lightly, and said gently, "I imagine you are somewhat confused about what I am doing Harry?"

"Yes Sir." Harry answered curiously.

"You know my boy, I do believe I overdid the spinning a little..." Dumbledore seated himself carefully on a low stone ledge, patting the space next to him invitingly. Once Harry was seated beside him, he twinkled brightly down at him, the corners of his mouth creasing humourously. "I am now going to tell you a secret of mine, I have a little ritual that I do every day. It's called, letting the happiness in."

A low rumbling chuckle came from Dumbledore, as he saw how bewildered Harry still looked. "Every morning, I let the happiness in, and that is what you caught me doing just now, Harry. Doubtless you noticed how I appeared to be opening non existent curtains?" Dumbledore paused, then beamed approvingly when Harry nodded. "You see Harry, happiness is like sunlight, you have to open the curtains and let it in. It's just as essential as sunlight too, never forget that Harry. The world would be a far brighter place if more people just drew back their curtains and let the light in."

Harry really wasn't sure that he understood, it was far too early in the morning to even try and make sense of Dumbledore's crazyness, but he supposed it made sense to Dumbledore. And, he had to admit that even early mornings seemed less bad when in Dumbledore's company, somehow things just felt lighter and brighter when he was around.

Harry felt the light touch of Dumbledore's hand on his shoulder, heard the soft humm of Dumbledore speaking softly to him. "Harry always remember, no matter how dark things may seem you can always open your curtains and let the happiness in."

There was a sudden seriousness in Dumbledore's tone, that made Harry feel as though the Headmaster tried to tell him something of great importance, and as he glanced up at his mentor he thought there was a hint of sorrow in the normally sparkling eyes. But then he thought that he must have been mistaken for Dumbledore had rummaged in his pocket, drawn out a large paper bag, and offered him a sherbert lemon in the merriest of tones.

As Harry made his way to the Quidditch pitch for practise, he spent a few moments wondering about what Dumbledore had said. Wasn't Dumbledore always happy, so why did he need to let happiness in? Then he forgot all about it, and only remembered it years later.

Part Two - (Set during Deathly Hallows)

The dark trees surrounded him on all sides, twisted branches pressing downwards like the jaws of a trap closing on him. Harry stood there, in the middle of the dark forest, facing his destiny, feeling more lost and alone than ever before. He felt completely unprepared to face Voldemort, he had always thought that Dumbledore would be there to help him when the time came, but Dumbledore was long dead.

Dumbledore! Harry's fists clenched angrily, as hot angry tears threatened to fall down his cheeks. So many revelations about his old mentor, so many long held secrets revealed in the last months, until Harry felt as though the Dumbledore he had known and loved was just a pretence, someone who had never truly existed.

All those years that he had relied on Dumbledore, felt somehow calmer and lighter in his presence, they seemed to have been ripped away from him, rendered meaningless by the shock of learning about the old man's past, about the secrets Dumbledore had kept.

"He should have told me, he should have told me. I would have coped with knowing..." Harry muttered to himself.

All those times that Dumbledore, had seemed to seek him out, the walks by the lake, Dumbledore's hand resting lightly on his shoulder, almost like having a Grandfather. The times the old man's twinkling eyes had gazed merrily at him, enquiring about how he was as though he really cared. Remembering hurt too much, but Harry couldn't stop the memories coming now.

"What if I just stay here? I do have a choice after all, I don't have to do this ... I could choose not to..." Harry rubbed tiredly at tear stained eyes, as the dark oppressive forest seemed to close in on him. The loneliness so heavy, pressing down on him, draining strength and will from him, until he felt leaden, unable to move.

Thinking about choices, made him think about Dumbledore even more. His mentor had spoken so much to him about choices, Harry could almost see Dumbledore's sparkling eyes gazing at him, could almost hear the gentle hum of the old man's voice as he said softly, "Remember Harry, you always have a choice, always. Nothing is predestined, it's your choices that matter, and they're yours to make, no one can make them for you."

Suddenly like a faint light breaking through the darkness he understood, Dumbledore hadn't manipulated him, he'd simpy tried to prepare him for the fact that Voldemort was going to come after him one day. "I would have chosen to stop him, I would have chosen to go after Voldemort myself, I always wanted to go after him once I knew what he'd done to my parents." Harry said, and as he spoke the words, the pain and confusion he'd held within these last months fell away from him a little more.

"I just wish you were here..." Harry muttered, as he stared up at the dark deformed branches of the trees, that hung overhead, blocking the stars from view. Somehow he just wanted to stay here, and yet if he didn't go on, didn't face his destiny, then how many more people would die?

The thought was too terrible to think, and Harry turned his mind back to Dumbledore, trying to finally come to terms with all he had learned about his mentor in the last months. Dumbledore must have suffered so, to lose his only sister in such a way, to bear the guilt of knowing he was at least partly to blame, and yet he had always seemed so merry and bright. Harry frowned thoughtfully, all his thoughts on Dumbledore, his destiny, his mission, briefly forgotten.

Even through all that pain Dumbledore had been able to let happiness in, to give every appearance of being merry and full of joy. And Harry was certain that this had not been faked, nor pretence, Dumbledore had been genuinely happy. Harry could only marvel at the old man's courage to get up and go on, to learn from his mistakes, when he could have become bitter and twisted, or lost himself in guilt stricken torment. But Dumbledore had got up and gone on, had faced life with joy in his heart, and a sparkle in his eyes. How had he done this?

Suddenly Harry remembered a morning long ago, when he had been in his first year at Hogwarts, and he smiled as he remembered. He could almost see Dumbledore there in front of him, twirling in circles, his arms spread wide apart, inviting the happiness in, opening the curtains and letting the light in. Harry's smile broadened, his emerald eyes twinkling in just the way his mentor's used to. Dumbledore had tried to share something with him that day, but Harry hadn't understood it until now.

Somehow remembering that day let Harry finally realise that Hermione was right, Dumbledore had loved him, that was why he'd sought him out so often, tried to guide and help him, tried to keep him safe. Harry could almost feel the dark mist that had shrouded his judgement and tainted his memories for so long, falling away from him.

Harry seemed to see his old Headmaster's face in front of his eyes, those light bright blue eyes as bright and sparkling as ever, the mouth curving into a familliar gentle smile. Seemed to hear once more the words his Headmaster and mentor had soken to him on that morning so long ago - "Remember Harry in dark times, remember to open the curtains and let the light in." And suddenly Harry understood the wisdom in those words, felt renewed strength and joy pouring into him, as though Albus Dumbledore himself stood there beside him as vibrant and full of life as he used to be. Harry could almost feel the old man's hand resting lightly on his shoulder, in just the way it used to.

There in the middle of that dark forest, as he stood on the verge of facing his destiny, Harry spread his arms wide and twirled round in ever faster circles, flinging back the curtains and letting the happiness in, like sunlight surging in through an open window. Then, a bright beaming smile on his face, Harry strode onwards towards his destiny, and beside him strode the spirit of Albus Dumbledore, hand resting lightly on Harry's shoulder.

_Author's Notes_

_Writing this was a real struggle, espeicially part two, and I'm still not entirely happy with how it turned out. Despite my doubts about it, I'm being 'brave' and publishing it, since I do like the idea of Dumbledore letting happiness in. ;)_

_And, though I'm in a minority these days, I'm with Hermione, I believe Dumbledore did love Harry, and I do not believe that he manipulated Harry. I believe that Harry would have gone after Voldemort regardless of anything Dumbledore said or did. *nods vehemently* _

_I'd love to hear what people thought of it. ;) And now back to my main aim of writing an entire series of Christmas or winter themed stories. _


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